REVOLUTIONARY! New Google Technology Can Forecast Web Patterns 24-hours in Advance

April 01 2008 / by Alvis Brigis / In association with Future
Category: Other   Year: General   Rating: 6

Google Australia has just announced the release of a revolutionary new product called MATE™ (Machine Automated Temporal Extrapolation) that extrapolates web data up to one full day in advance of reality.

According to a statement released by the suddenly resurgent company, “Using MATE’s™ machine learning and artificial intelligence techniques developed in Google’s Sydney offices, [it is possible to] construct elements of the future.”

So how exactly does it work?

Google spiders crawl publicly available web information and our index of historic, cached web content. Using a mashup of numerous factors such as recurrence plots, fuzzy measure analysis, online betting odds and the weather forecast from the iGoogle weather gadget, we can create a sophisticated model of what the internet will look like 24 hours from now.

The implications are frankly astounding. The ability to predict information patterns and the statistical likelihood of certain content is certain to disrupt established patterns of causality underlying markets, social dynamics and even physical and chemical reactions.

In Google’s own words:

We can use this technique to predict almost anything on the web – tomorrow’s share price movements, sports results or news events. Plus, using language regression analysis, Google can even predict the actual wording of blogs and newspaper columns, 24 hours before they’re written!


The transformational nature of this product has many futurists, including the likes of Ray Kurzweil and the venerable Vernor Vinge, scrambling to revise the bulk of their forecasts and particularly their Singularity timelines. The new consensus seems to be that the Singularity is most likely to occur later this afternoon after a shockingly hard take-off.

At the same time, a rapidly growing school of neo-luddites has been arguing vehemently against such a proposition. However, their argument is not being received all that well considering they’ve based it on data pulled from the Google MATE software following its release.

Only time will tell whether we’re in for a 3PM Singularity or if this is indeed just another sick April Fool’s joke hatched by the geniuses at Google PR.

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